Time

Have I mentioned that I hate time? Most days it feels like an enemy. It attacks on two fronts, putting MORE distance between me and the good old days and LESS distance between me and whatever trial is coming up next.

I was complaining about this to my mom a few days ago. Then at my friend's wedding on Saturday, the pastor talked about time (I was the maid of honor so I was standing right next to him).

He talked about embracing time as a gift. (Yeah right, I thought. If only it came with a receipt.) He talked about how it's a natural rhythm meant for our benefit, and that we can abuse time with either extreme busyness or procrastination. And of course that we should make time for God and (if applicable) our spouse.

It got me thinking that my fight against time is not only futile, it's pretty selfish. The desire to go back to the best years of my life (cue Bryan Adams) is all about a time *I* felt good, connected, whatever. It shuts me off from other people and being part of their lives.

Not to mention it's pretty stupid. Sure there are trials ahead--I hate thinking about saying goodbye when I leave for England. But I wouldn't be going if I didn't think there were good things waiting too.

On earth we can only live in the present. But I think the feeling that time goes by too fast, that we can't get enough out of each moment, is different. To me, it's pretty good evidence the soul was made for somewhere else.